s4 is sharp. decisive. quikthots. changes are abound. Deadlines are coming in left and right. new funding to apply for, programmes to sign up, PhD to prepare and reflect on the halfway point, the house to be settled, insurance to figure out - as they say, to get your shit together.
Writing a goodbye post was not easy. The overhang of my neck, hurts. the space between my shoulders. My gut is still not used to the water here. It is a journey of resettling. That, for me takes time to recalibrate.
some people heal together, some don’t find their way through it. to be peel the layers to enable it seeps through all tributaries interconnecting the pathways I take. Some of the nutritious sediment that flows through alongside, some choose to settle and mark their pathways so far.
I found myself being pulled into extra work, due to the need to nurture knowledge. But I should listen to myself, to sit tall and be still. I find compensation, with context and knowledge is to contend with not knowing. Sometimes, it is okay to disagree and sit with it. but it does not show care - that is the challenge.
Staying at Think and Tink during a crisis, the haze, meant that everything slowed down into a sluggish beat. My body can’t quite take it, so I wrote.
Thinking and (barely) tinkering
It is time to get work done. Not that it ever wasn’t. It is an era of putting order into the haze. Transmuting, something I don’t do so well, between different knowledge systems. Time to learn, and absorb.
Back to the usual support systems:
Tea for this era includes chrysanthemum, honey, red date, red tea
Music for this era - mostly is atmospheric and textural from 90s japanese ambient musicians exploring the jump into modernity as the peak settles. I met the one of the collective members of login.jp, which I played for Alys on the last few days we gathered on Lamma